That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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