my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
