you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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