Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
