you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
