During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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