On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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