Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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