I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
