It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
