god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
