Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
