its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
