I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
