my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
