Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
