What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
