also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
