The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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