Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
