I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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