You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
