This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
