were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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