I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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