I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
