I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
