But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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