so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
As shirtless as possible
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
