Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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