is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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