I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
