Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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