so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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