No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
