Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
