He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
