A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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