true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
