Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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