I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
