He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
