every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
PANTIES FOUND
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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