I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
