That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
