You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You took a bar mat shot.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
