As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
vagina is talking i cant
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
