According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
