Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
