so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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