Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
