Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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